Rage vs Anger in PMDD: Why Women Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of Their Anger

Why Anger Feels So “Wrong” for Women With PMDD

If you’re a woman living with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), you may know the feeling of anger rising like a tidal wave just before your period. A loved one says something small, or the house is a mess, and suddenly you’re overwhelmed by fury. Afterwards, shame often creeps in — “Why can’t I just control myself? What’s wrong with me?”

This is one of the hardest parts of PMDD: not only the intensity of the emotions, but also the cultural conditioning that tells women it’s not okay to feel or express anger. From a young age, many women were taught that being “a good girl” means being quiet, kind, accommodating, and never “too much.”

The result? Anger gets pushed down, hidden, or denied. But unacknowledged emotions don’t disappear — they gather strength in the subconscious until they erupt as rage or turn inward, contributing to stress, anxiety, depression, or even physical health issues.

Anger: A Healthy and Necessary Emotion

Anger often gets painted as something negative, destructive, or shameful. But in reality, anger is a healthy, natural emotion. It exists to signal when a boundary has been crossed or when something in our lives feels unjust.

• Anger says: “This doesn’t feel right.”

• It gives us the energy to protect ourselves.

• It helps us stand in our truth and assert our needs.
  

For women with PMDD, learning that anger is not inherently “bad” can be a revelation. The problem isn’t anger itself — it’s that we’ve never been taught how to express it in safe, constructive ways.

Rage vs Anger: What’s the Difference?

It’s important to distinguish between anger and rage:

• Healthy anger is like a clear, firm “no.” It sets boundaries and communicates that your needs matter. It can be expressed without aggression or harm.

• Rage is anger that has been suppressed, ignored, or shamed for so long that it builds up like pressure in a sealed pot. Eventually, something small — like a partner forgetting to take the bins out — lights the match, and all that repressed energy bursts out in an overwhelming flood.
  

For many women with PMDD, rage feels frightening because it seems to come from nowhere. But in truth, it’s often the subconscious releasing years of stored frustration, grief, or unacknowledged boundaries.

Why Women Learn to Suppress Anger

As little girls, many women were taught — directly or indirectly — that anger was unacceptable. A tantrum might have been met with punishment, being sent to your room, or being told you were “bad.” Over time, the subconscious learns that showing anger risks losing love or connection, and since attachment is vital for survival in childhood, anger gets buried .

Fast forward into adulthood, and those old patterns remain. Suppressed anger can look like:

• Saying “yes” when you desperately want to say “no.”

• Avoiding conflict and silencing your own needs.

• Feeling powerless, unheard, or unworthy.

• Experiencing sudden explosions of rage that don’t match the situation — because years of swallowed anger finally erupt .
  

This cycle of suppression and eruption often intensifies in the premenstrual phase, when the body is more sensitive to stress and unresolved emotions come to the surface.

The Cost of Suppressing Anger: Mind and Body

Unprocessed emotions don’t simply vanish — they live in the body. Anger, in particular, is an energy designed to move through us. When blocked, it stagnates, creating both emotional turbulence and physical consequences .

Over time, suppressed anger can contribute to:

• Chronic stress and tension in the muscles and nervous system.

• Headaches, jaw clenching, or digestive discomfort.

• Heightened anxiety, irritability, and mood swings.

• Patterns of self-sabotage, burnout, or destructive coping behaviours .

For women with PMDD, this suppression often compounds hormonal sensitivity, creating a cycle where the body reacts not only to shifting hormones but also to the unresolved emotional “imprints” from the past.

Reclaiming Healthy Anger

Healing begins with remembering that anger itself is not dangerous. It is the subconscious association of anger with fear, rejection, or shame that makes it feel unsafe.

Learning to experience anger consciously — without turning it against yourself or others — can be profoundly empowering:

• You discover that your “no” has weight and clarity.

• You learn to feel anger in your body — maybe by grounding your feet, clenching your fists, or even letting out a healthy growl — without being consumed by it.

• You begin to release the guilt that often follows anger, replacing it with self-respect and a deeper connection to who you are.
  

Healthy anger is like a compass: it points you toward your boundaries and values. Rage may feel overwhelming, but anger, when integrated, becomes a force for truth, clarity, and empowerment.

Healing the Roots With Family Constellations and Rapid Core Healing

For women navigating PMDD, working with anger isn’t only about learning new coping tools. It’s about healing the deeper roots of why anger feels unsafe in the first place. This means addressing both the conscious mind (awareness of patterns) and the subconscious mind (where the old survival responses live).

This is where Family Constellations and Rapid Core Healing come in:

• Family Constellations
  This therapeutic approach looks at how unresolved family trauma and hidden dynamics can be carried forward unconsciously. Many women find that their intense emotional responses are connected not just to their own life experiences, but also to patterns passed down through generations. By gently bringing these dynamics into the light, Family Constellations can release inherited burdens and restore a sense of belonging and inner stability.

• Rapid Core Healing (RCH)
  RCH combines hypnotherapy, NLP, Gestalt Therapy, cognitive behavioural approaches, and systemic work . It provides a safe space to access the subconscious and reprocess suppressed emotions like anger. This allows women to integrate their natural fight response, release fear-based rage, and step into a healthier, empowered relationship with their emotions.

Together, these methods offer a compassionate, integrative pathway — helping women with PMDD move from cycles of shame and emotional overwhelm into greater balance, self-trust, and emotional resilience.

Anger as a Pathway to Healing

For too long, women have been taught that anger is something to hide, repress, or apologise for. But anger, at its core, is not something to fear. It is a powerful, healthy emotion that signals where change is needed and helps us honour our boundaries.

When anger is buried, it doesn’t go away — it simply transforms into tension, anxiety, rage, or even physical illness. But when it’s acknowledged, expressed safely, and integrated, anger becomes a source of strength and self-respect.

Through her work with Family Constellations and Rapid Core Healing, Camilla Clare Brinkworth supports women to heal the subconscious roots of PMDD, release suppressed emotions, and create a life where anger is no longer a burden but a guide.

As Rumi beautifully reminds us, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” By healing the hidden layers of trauma and learning to embrace healthy anger, women can move beyond monthly struggle and reconnect with their innate power, peace, and wholeness.

About Camilla Brinkworth

Camilla Brinkworth is a naturopath, clinical nutritionist, and trauma-informed practitioner specialising in plant-based health, gut restoration, and emotional well-being. With a focus on conditions like SIBO, IBS, and PMDD, Camilla helps clients uncover root causes and create practical, personalised strategies for lasting digestive and hormonal balance.  She works globally online so that you can receive the support you need from the comfort of your own home.

Learn more about Camilla’s naturopathy consultations and gut health programmes at www.camillaclare.com.